Sanctuary Of Memories
by The Magnificent Kiwi
Summary: A vicious attack leaves Suze both emotionally and physically scarred. When she discovers a place that manifests your greatest fears, she sees an opportunity to get her life back. In this nightmarish world, she makes a life changing decision. oneshot


**Suze was hurt one to many times. In her search for solace she discovers a place where nightmares become reality. Will she find peace of mind by punishing her tormentor? Or will she perish, too?**

**AN - I was in a dark mood so I decided to write this dark(ish) oneshot. It is based on/in Silent Hill (the games). You don't have to have even _heard_ of Silent Hill to read this as everything that you need to know is explained in the story. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask :). **

**Please give it a chance ;). And please review...I am really nervous about this fic :).**

**Disclaimer - Mediator and all related characters belong to Meg Cabot. Silent Hill belongs to Konami. I am neither.**

**Sanctuary of Memories**

_"In my restless dreams I see that place..."_

Her eyes were fixed on the setting sun, her pupils shrinking to mere pinpricks. The sun set beautifully in that part of the state, the rustic colours stretching out for miles as the last light died.

She remembered the first sunset she had seen here. It was on her wedding night, and the display seemed more fantastic then than it had the countless times they had returned.

She found it strangely ironic how such a beautiful image could be seen in such an ugly place. For the town's beauty had died with her happiness.

Whenever she visited that place, something would change. It seemed to decay as the purity was driven from her, as though she was contaminating her surroundings. The clear water of the lake became murky and unpleasant, the park dirty and devoid of children's laughter. The perfect architecture began to age and fall apart around her.

She was the only person to notice these changes. The many inhabitants of the town failed to notice the rust-covered structures that were once alleyways and underpasses. They did not see the strange figures, hobbling out of view before she could get close enough to identify them. Her husband refused to visit that place after a while. To him, it was no longer the romantic place that it had once been. It was now stained by dark memories and he had no interest in holding on to their painful past. Their marriage in no way fell apart. In fact, it went from strength to strength. But when you peeled back the surface, the raw pain and suffering was still visible, even after all these years.

It wasn't long before the whole population of the town vanished, seemlingly into thin air. The town no longer resembled the quiet lakeside resort that the moulding flyers so cheerfully depicted. The town had withered. Once a rose, now a weed.

She had visited it once more, for one last time, when she discovered the truth. She found diaries, accounts from people who had witnessed the town undergo the same terrifying transformation. These journals ranged from two months to fifty years old and some were stained with a dry brown substance that flaked when the pages were bent. She discovered that a girl had once been attacked in the town, burned alive by her own mother. She was the first to witness these changes...many believe that she was the one who caused them, that she created a whole new world to escape from the pain. They believed that she caused the horrifying shifts that the town was prone to; when the sky would turn black and the world would fall apart, leaving its rustic skeleton behind.

She tore her emerald eyes from the sky, surveying her surroundings. She had never intended to return, but the pain became too much to bear. The town was all that she could think of...and _him_.

Tears came to her eyes when she remembered everything that he had done. The way that he had broke her into pieces and caused her husband so much pain.

She posessed only twenty-five years, yet she had suffered more than anyone should in their lifetime.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a shrill ringing and she reached into her pocket for her cell.

"Susannah, where are you?" her husband's frantic voice asked. She could hear the panic in his voice.

"Jesse, I have everything under control," she assured him, trying hard to prevent her voice from breaking. She did not want to lie to him, not after everything they had been through. "I'm safe, don't worry. Please."

There was silence on the line, his erratic breathing the only sound. She could tell that he was crying, and it pained her to know that she was responsible for his tears.

"Querida, where are you?" he asked, speaking at last. She closed her eyes, fighting back tears of her own.

"Silent Hill," she whispered, though it was loud enough for him to hear. She heard his breathing cease upon hearing her location.

"Susannah, please!" he begged, his voice breaking. "Please, don't do this! I can't lose you."

Suze closed her eyes and prayed for the strength that she needed to defy her husband. She_ needed_ to do this. It was the one pothole left in the road to recovery...the pothole _he _would fill for her.

"Jesse, please," she begged, not allowing her pain to show in her voice. "I need to do this. This is what I need to move on. Please understand that. I love you."

Before he could reply, she ended the call and switched off her cell. She did not need any help; this was for her to do alone.

She turned towards the lake, to make her way to the park where her husband had proposed to her. The park was beautiful then. The sun would reflect off the surface of the crystalline water, creating beautiful patterns that would dance before your eyes. The roses that bloomed so beautifully in the bushes that surrounded the pathways added to the manificence of the floral display that the park was so well known for. But now, the park was an empty shell. A disgusting shadow of its former self. The water was dark and murky and the sun barely broke through the clouds while the roses were all dead, dried up petals that lay still as death on the stone paths.

Suze made her way to the exact spot that Jesse had proposed. It overlooked the lake and in the distance the hotel that they stayed at for their honeymoon was visible, shrouded with fog. The day that he proposed was the first time they had visited the town. It was a day trip, though it was one of he most memorable days of their lives.

She ran a hand along the black railing that seperated the park from the lake and it came away black with the dirt that caked it. The ice cream stand a few feet away was beaten up and faling apart. She laughed.

"Just like the rest of this place," she muttered to herself.

Suze tore her eyes away from the lake, unwanted memories rising to the surface. She did not understand why she could still remember everything. She was a psychology graduate and she _knew_ that if a memory is determined to be psychologically harmful, your brain is supposed to repress it, to drag it down into the subconciousness to protect you from harm. So why did she still remember? These memories had been tearing her apart for the past three years.

She left the park behind, turning right at the entrance to make her way towards the hospital. She had told him to go there, knowing that he would obey. She wanted him to suffer as she had done. After all...this was what the town of Silent Hill did.

Silent Hill calls to it those with darkness in their hearts, manipulating its environment to simulate their darkest nightmares and manifesting their greatest fears. Silent Hill is purgatory, for lack of a more fitting word. It punishes the sinners in the most horrific ways possible. Suze new that the town would force him to face what he had done. If he was unable to feel remorse, then he would perish like the others.

Her heels clacked ominously on the pavement, the sound echoing around the empty street. She kept her eyes forward, knowing all too well what was beside her. The shops were destroyed, some with newspaper lining their windows. The stories were all the same; religious zealots causing trouble, serial killers who have been committed to the psyciatric wing of the local hospital. The stories were always decades old, though it did not faze Suze. The other shops were boarded up with cryptic messages scrawled on the decaying wood. There were few shops that remained intact, their window displays perfect save for the fine layer of dust that coated them.

Suze continued to walk, her eyes remaining fixed on a place some place in the distance. The radios of the burnt out cars that she passed went haywire, spewing static into the silence. She knew what this meant, and became more determined to continue to look straight ahead of her. Out of the corner of her eye she could see movement. Something stirred in the shadows, limping from shop to shop. She knew what it looked like so she had no desire to lay eyes on it again. It was a mess of legs, twitching and jerking in an unnatural way. She was used to seeing these creatures in the many times she had returned to the town after its transfomation.

Upon reaching the hospital, she pulled herself up the steps, heaving open the heavy oak doors and stumbling into the empty passageway.

Brookhaven hospital resembled no hospital she had seen before, and she had been in a few. The walls were stained with rust, though they were made of plaster and suspicious brown spots were spattered on the doors. Suze made great effort to avoid these doors, knowing the horrors that lay beyond.

As she made her way past the reception desk, the many flyers posted around the area begged for her attention. Her eyes scanned them briefly and she held back laughter at the stupid slogans the hospital had chosen in order to persuade people to join their 'workshops'. Others invited future mothers to pre-natal meetings at the Ridgeview Medical Clinic.

A familiar pang shot through Suze's heart as her hand involuntarily fell to her stomach, her fingers gripping the soft material of her turtleneck sweater tightly.

_"Mrs. de Silva?" The doctor asked, his head peeking around the open door. He was a balding middle-aged man with a moustache so thick his voice sounded somewhat muffled._

_Suze nodded, tearing her eyes away from him. She knew that the news could not be good; her husband was also a doctor and he had been acting distant ever since she was admitted to the hospital._

_She leaned into him, perched comfortably on the end of the hospital bed. The drab grey sheets she sat on seemed to fit in with her pessimistic mood. Jesse pulled her close to him, knowing what the doctor was about to tell them._

_"I have the results from your tests back," the doctor announced, closing the door to the private room behind him. "And I am sorry to say that they are not good."_

_Suze let her head sink forward into her hands, driven by despair. After everything that had happened to her, they couldn't take this away from her. She shook her head in protest, feeling her husband's arm gently rub her back._

_"The foetus was damaged considerably during your...assault," the doctor told the couple, his voice heavy with sorrow. It was obvious that he did not want to deliver this bad news, but it was part of his job. "There was a slight chance of you delivering a healthy baby, but coupled with the emotional damage and stress you have suffered, the foetus was unable to survive. I am afriad that you have lost your baby."_

_Suze's shoulders shook, but no tears appeared. She had cried so much over the past month that she had no more tears to shed. Jesse tried to comfort her, but she was inconsolabe._

_The doctor swallowed hard and glanced back down at his clipboard. He felt for this couple. The whole staff of the small hospital knew of what they had suffered. Their trip to Silent Hill was supposed to be a getaway, an escape from the pain. Yet when Suze collapsed in their hotel, they were only greeted with more heartache._

_"I have more bad news," he continued. Suze's head snapped back and the doctor stumbled back when he saw the whirlwind of emotions that were visible in her eyes. He did not want to add to the agony that had so obviously overcome this young girl. After all, she was only twenty-two years old._

_"Although the foetus is dead, you have not miscarried per se," he spoke, refusing to look into Suze's eyes. "The foetus-"_

_"Can you please stop referring to my child as 'the foetus'," Suze interrupted, her voice almost breaking with emotion._

_The doctor cleared his throat and apologised hastily before continuing._

_"The...baby," he corrected. "The baby shows no signs of being expelled from your womb. This will have to be done surgically."_

_This time it was Jesse who interrupted._

_"But...with the damage from the attack, won't that damage her uterus?" He demanded, the shock visible in his voice._

_"Yes," the doctor answered, becoming uncomfortable. "But the damage will be considerably less than if the baby is left to leave the body naturally. This way, the chance of conceiving again will be considerably higher."_

_Silence descened upon the room as Suze's shoulders shook gently. She began to reluctantly absorb what the doctor had told her._

_That was when the first change became visible to her. It was simple; the lightbulb flickered slightly and a twisted shadow was cast against the far wall. A subtle change, but it signalled a downward spiral for the Silent Hill as the de Silvas knew it_

Suze smiled as this memory slowly faded away. She thought that day that she would never be able to conceive again, but she did. It took her two years to get over the loss of her unborn child, but after that it was only eleven months until she became pregnant once more.

This conception signalled the start of her new life. She knew that she had to move on for her child's sake, that the stress and psychological damage would only harm the child if she did not make an effort to put the past behind her. She tried forgiving her attacker, she had even talked to him many times, but it did not work. So she resorted to the one method she had hoped never to use. She had informed the police that they had jailed the wrong man. That she dreamt of her attacker and the man serving a twenty-year jail sentence for it was not him. They were sceptical, but released him anyway.

That was when she called him. Invited him to Silent Hill so that they could 'put their differences behind them'. If only he knew...

She stepped into one of the dilapidated elevators and pressed the 'B2' key, causing the elevator to descend at an alarming speed.

The metal framework rattled ferociously, the speed with which the elevator was descending threatening to pull the small metal box apart. Suze pressed her back against the elevator wall, holding her arms against her chest. The basement of the hotel was where the psychiatric ward was situated. It was the one part of the hospital that was always in limbo, the emotions of its terrified deceased inhabitants inprinted seemingly into the very soul of the ward.

When the elevator thudded to a stop, murky water seeped into the lift drenching the soles of Suze's shoes. She quickly jumped out of the puddle and entered the ward beyond.

Like the rest of the hospital, the psychiatric ward was run down. There were scratches on the walls, some of which showed rotting fingernails which were still embedded in the plaster. Somewhere down the hallway a rustic squeaking was audible as the wheel of an overturned wheelchair spun slowly, as though its occupant had abandoned it just moments ago. The nurses still lined the hallways, though they did not offer help nor show any recognition as Suze glided past them, keeping her distance. Sometimes they would twitch as she passed, the waxy flap of skin that obscured their faces pulsating in an inhuman manner. They twisted themselves into impossible positions, their arms flailing desperately as if they were searching for something to keep them upright. The occasional noise would escape them; a small sigh or a quiet gasp. They still wore their uniform, though it was soiled beyond repair and the skirts seemed shorter, the tops somewhat tighter. Their breasts were almost spilling out of the too-small shirt that clung to their torso.

Fumbling for the handle on the nearest door, Suze stumbled a bit too close to one of them and it swung something at her, the plaster chipping away from the wall when the object missed her by an inch or two. Before it had enough time to recover, Suze ducked into the room, relaxing as she heard the clang of metal on metal. The nurse would soon tire of her actions and move on. They were all so predictable, their movements fluid yet still slightly robotic.

"Hey!"

Suze spun around at the sound of an all too familiar voice. When her eyes fell upon that face, she flinched and pulled the botton of her sweater down.

"What happened to this place?" Paul asked, ignoring Suze's obvious discomfort and running a finger along the desk beside him.

This room was obviously used for interrogation. There was a two-way mirror that took up the whole of the wall facing the door and a broken chair which had obviously been nailed to the floor lay in pieces on the cold tiles. The decor of this room did not deviate from the whole theme of the hospital now that it had transformed. The walls were almost red and the tiled floor was a matching brown and whatever was coating it had begun to flake off in places.

"You haven't been here since...what happened, have you?" Suze asked, steping towards the mirror. The girl that stared back at her was not the one who stood in that room. She was younger and her hair was greasy and a mess of tangles. Her eyes were black and seemed empty though they stared back at Suze with such ferocity that she doubted that the girl she observed could truly be her. The girl's clothes were ripped and soiled and bruises covered her arms and her face, making her almost unrecognisable. The crotch of her pants was stained crimson with blood and a hole seemed to have been ripped in her stomach, a mangled mess of organs visible inside of it. Suze knew that this was her three years ago. The poor girl who had been subjected to so much...abuse, mental torment, physical pain, rape, the death of her unborn child, abortion. Yet the reflection of the man not three feet away from her was almost normal.

Paul smiled, his face threatening to split in half. The years were kind to Paul Slater, and even Suze would admit this. His dark hair had straightened out somewhat since high school, though it still curled ever so slightly. Due to his extreme vanity, Suze would not have been surprised if it had been chemically straightened. His azure eyes retained most of their cunning, but now there was something else in there...evil.

His reflection seemed too perfect.

Suze guessed that the mirror must show how you visualise yourself. She felt broken after all that had happened to her, so the town was attempting to show her what she had become. She knew that she must fight to change this image or else the town, and her pain, would consume her. After all, this was the Silent Hill way.

What angered her more was seeing Paul's reflection so pristine and perfect. After all that he had done, he showed not a single shred of guilt.

"This town," Suze spoke, catching Paul's attention. "Is unique. A little girl was once burned alive by her mother, who was a religious fanatic. Unable to cope with the pain and torment that she suffered as her mother forcibly kept her alive, she created another world to escape from the pain. This world was made from her nightmares. Everything she had ever feared became real in this place and all of the torment that she had suffered shaped the world into this..."

She raised a hand as thin, spidery red lines crept along the walls. They pulsated and throbbed like arteries, supplying blood to the body that was Silent Hill. From somewhere in the distance, a faint siren could be heard...an air raid siren. Suze allowed her despair to consume her, knowing that the town would feed off this.

"The Otherworld. A world of someone's nightmarish delusions come to life," she continued. "This left an imprint on the town, even after the girl was finally able to rest. To normal people, Silent Hill is simply a lakeside resort, but to troubled folk like myself...it becomes this." She ran a finger down the throbbing wall and it came away stained crimson with fresh blood. "A place that is shaped by your subconcious. A personal hell. Here, you punish yourself for your sins. I...I was broken after that day. This town changed for me. It showed me what I had become. It's like...it's like it is giving me a second chance at life. It gives people the opportunity to change. If they can face their inner demons and become whole again, they are free to go. But if they allow themselves to wallow in despair and then they are destroyed by their own negativity. The creatures out there...they are all in my mind, I know that. They are physical manifestations of my fears and my torments. They aren't real, yet they can hurt me if they want to. Do you see what I mean?"

To Suze's surprise, Paul just laughed.

"Yeah," he laughed. "So this...place. It's killing you because you are too weak to get over what happened?"

The fury bubbled within Suze and at this, the veins in the wall burst, raining blood onto the floor. It narrowly missed Suze and Paul yet they both remained oblivious to it.

"Shut up!" Suze screamed, pointing a finger in Paul's direction. "You don't know what you put me through, do you? You know, the reason that this town looks like this for you is because you are wallowing in self pity over 'losing' me to Jesse! It's 'de Silva' now, not 'Simon'. The sooner you realise that the better."

Paul flinched, but it was obvious that Suze's words hadn't cut him deep...at least not deep enough.

"Do you remember that night?" Suze demanded, her reflection suddenly freezing in the mirror. She paid it no nevermind. "The night you attacked me? You had been torturing me emotionally for years, trying to turn me against Jesse. You almost put me in therapy, Paul! Then you asked me over one night to 'sort things out'. I thought that you just wanted to be my friend. I never thought that..." Suze paused as she shook away the memory of that night. "You tried to drug me, didn't you? But I refused to drink alcohol. So you decided to go ahead with it anyway...and you raped me. You held me down and you raped me. But not before beating me to a bloody pulp first! Then when you were through with me, you hit me some more until I passed out and then you dumped me in an alleyway where someone _walking their dog _found me. I was close to death when I was taken to the hospital, but you didn't care!"

Paul flinched, obviously unprepared for the truth to be shown to him in such a way. A quick glance in the direction of the mirror showed Suze that the damage was still not done.

"You almost tore Jesse and I apart, but that was your plan all along, wasn't it? Well guess what, Slater? It didn't work! He stood by me, he helped me through and now we are stronger than ever. But there is one thing I couldn't get over, no matter how hard I tried. And that was the death of my child. I was pregnant you _bastard_! You murdered my unborn child!"

Paul stumbled backwards into the mirror and Suze knew that she had won. A flicker of guilt was evident in his eyes, and a flicker was more than enough. Her reflection moved towards Paul and stretched out a bloody hand. He cried out in shock as its hand pushed through the silvery surface, the veins on the wall rushing towards it. The reflection pressed itself forward once more and the veins wound around its arms, making the image corporeal.

Paul rushed towards the door but no matter how hard he yanked on the handle, the door just would not budge. By the time he turned back to the mirror, the image was now a seperate entity. The veins crawled across its surface, including the clothes, trobbing and pulsing in time with those on the walls.

"Suze, what is going on?" Paul asked, his voice breaking with fear. She almost felt sorry for him but then she remembered all that he had put her through.

"Now you know what it feels like to be destroyed by your own mind," Suze spat, turning towards the door. "Your guilt over what you did to me is what is powering that creature...all you have to do is be truly sorry for what you did...to want nothing more than to take it back...not because it will save your life, but because you feel true remorse. And Paul? You really didn't win...I am pregnant again."

Suze grasped the vein-covered handle and twisted, the small capillaries that covered it breaking and sending little spots of blood onto her hands. She did not turn back once the door was open, not even when Paul called to her.

"Please, Suze, I don't want to die!" he cried, pushing himself into the wall as Suze's reflection drew closer to him.

She ignored his pleas, just like he had ignored hers. It was out of her hands now. If Paul was able to overcome his pride and be truly sorry for what he did to Suze then he would be saved from the figure. Of course, his guilt would then summon an entirely new entity but it was no longer Suze's business. She was not responsible for his death...he was. His survival was in no-one's hands but his own.

As the hallways slowly began to return to normal and the voices of the Brookhaven Hospital patients and staff became audible once more, Suze heard a terrified scream which turned into a pained gurgle as Paul lost the fight with his guilt. Suze did not shed a single tear for him. She knew that she had won. That she had overcome all of her pain and was now ready to get on with her life. The return of the lakeside resort signalled that.

So did the Chevrolet waiting for her outside of the hospital, and the man who leaned against it, shaking with uncontrollable grief.

"Jesse!" Suze called wearily, stumbling over to him and throwing herself into his arms. Both his surprise and relief were evident as he welcomed his wife's embrace, holding her small, shaking form in his strong, capable arms.

"_Querida_," he whispered, burying his face in her thick chestnut hair. He breathed in her scent, having though that he would never see her again.

They stood in each other's arms for what seemed like an eternity, Suze losing herself in her husband's warmth and Jesse observing their surroundings.

"_Querida_, the town..." he pointed out, watching the local residents go about their business. It was as though they had never been gone. "You did it..."

Suze smiled and buried her face in Jesse's neck.

"He couldn't get over it," she sobbed. "He is dead..."

Jesse pulled her to him again, holding her tightly, never wanting to let her go.

Suze gripped his arm with one of her blood-stained hands and she noticed familiar feelings return...feelings she had not felt since before her attack. She was suddenly aware of the man infront of her, not as a friend or a husband, but as a lover. She observed his perfectly-chiseled features with great interest, fighting the urge to press her lips against his and claim him as her own once again. She breathed a sigh of relief and moved her arms, wrapping them around Jesse's torso. His hard muscles suddenly felt good pressed up against her soft flesh. She felt again...she was no longer a cold, unfeeling human. She was no longer emotionless and felt no more despair.

Breathing heavily, she rested her forehead on her husband's shoulder and muttered two simple words.

"I'm free."

They left Silent Hill as a reborn couple. The foggy lakeside town that had been purgatory for the both of them for the past three years was now a picturesque getaway once again.

As their car drove along the lakeside road, Suze couldn't help but to smile. Silent Hill meant so much to them. It was a sanctuary. _Their_ sanctuary.

A sanctuary of memories.


End file.
